So Long 2012

I am sure many of you have heard the traditionally sung  “Auld Lang Syne” song at the stroke of midnight, ever wonder what that means? It simply means “Days of Long Ago.” The song talks about friendships long forgotten and then they come to reunite and remember the good days they had together … in a nutshell. Oh, how I have been thinking of this song today… I have had many friendships fade away slowly through the years and yet when we talk on the phone or via e-mail I love that with the friendships I have held close to my heart it seems as if only distance separated us and not our friendship. I love that we get to move around the world with the many opportunities the military has given us… having my friends and family so far away is something I simply haven’t gotten use to nor do I like.

We have had many events happen within 2012:

–       E tuned three years old,

–       We went to visit my family in Turkey for a few weeks and the kids got to meet all my family I have there,

–       We packed up our home and moved back to the states from Germany,

–       Dak and L got to meet each other for the first time plus the littles and Dak bonded over the summer

–       E and L got to meet three of their cousins on hubs side,

–       We became Godparents to Ali and I got to meet her in person

–       E had her tonsils removed,

–       Hubs had his septioplasty,

–       I got diagnosed with my condition of hypothyroidism and depression

Even with all the positives this year, I will say this year was my most trying year since the year my dad passed away. It’s so secret for many of you reading this that I will be happy to leave 2012 behind and start 2013 with a fresh, clean slate. Thankfully with all the ups and down God has always provided for us and saw us through each storm we faced. I am happy to say my marriage is stronger now than it has ever been and we are closer to God as a couple due to all we gone through. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fun, but with lots of prayer and patience, we have been able to overcome a lot this year.

I am so very thankful to those of you who have stood by and helped me through it all. With each encouraging word, uplifting email, text or phone call, and prayers you have truly been wonderful friends. To the friends I have avoided and not contacted in a while or made little contact with, I am sorry. I simply needed some space to get through the past months and the next few. I promise I will call soon and explain in more detail. I know I have been selfish and haven’t been there for many of you in return and for that, again, I am so very sorry. I cannot wait to get back to my old self! I am trying hard and seeing results slowly but at least I am on a path to recovery.

Now to end the last blog post of 2012 on a more positive note (!) here are the goals / resolutions I have set for myself!!

1)   No more procrastinating!! This goes for anything and everything. Things need to get done ASAP not “in a few minutes”

2)   Obtain my AA with UMUC, finalize and declare my BA with Liberty University

3)   Run a “Color Me Rad” 5k on 05/05/2013

4)   Drink more water!! (I had this resolution in 2008 and it did me wonders!!)

May 2013 bring us all joy, love, and good health with those whom we love and hold dearly to us the most!! Happy New Year Everyone!

Love Always,

BellzJourney a.k.a JBellz

V-Day Flop

          Having no control over certain situations at times is very hard. Since moving to Germany we have gotten by on one car and while we have been in the market to get a used auto we just can’t seem to find what we want. Well, this is an issue for me because I tend to be home with Eva while Randy goes to work and such. Doesn’t seem like an issue, huh? It is when sweet hubby comes home with a Valentines card and a box of chocolate for me. I felt so small instead of feeling the love he wanted me to experience. It was almost embarrassing; I know he understands that I was unable to get him anything but in my heart that isn’t a good enough excuse. I had originally ordered him something he had wanted for a while from Amazon but then the seller fell though at the last minute and I was stuck. Zilch for him. Upset and frustrated I now feel like Valentine’s Day is all messed up.

          I didn’t grow up in a home where Valentines was a big big deal. My father got my mom a card and some flowers while my mom got him chocolate and that was that. With Randy, it really hasn’t been a huge deal either; we make an effort to show our love for the other. I have always tried to get him a gift and fill the box up with chocolate (can you tell we LOVE chocolate??!!) and would present it to him with a huge smile and kiss. This is dumb… why am I feeling so guilty?? Part of it is because I am soooo not artistic so it’s not as if I can just write him a poem or song. This day was created to make people feel bad or guilty, it was created so that we can acknowledge those we love… ok snapping out of it now. I will just have to surprise him with a something on a random day to make up for this and we can celebrate it on that day as well… Not a bad plan, right?

          See, I knew this blogging would come in handy. Not only do I feel better now but I also have found a solution it seems! Thanks for listening to me ramble on and on… Hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!